Ladies and Gentlemen,
I have been very busy with a couple of side projects the last few days and because of this the Bloggin’ has suffered. That being said I am going to write a long blog about a lot of issues and call it the Big Ol’ Blogarma. Tighten up those chinstraps, this is gonna be a mile a minute trip to the weird and the extreme…well okay maybe just the weird.
First and foremost…. Shout outs and congratulations to two of my favorite people in the whole wide world. It seems that these two ladies have seen some wonderful accomplishments over the last week or so and I want to recognize their achievements
Rachel McFarland-Karn (Giving the Thumbs Up) has just graduated from UCO and I am certain that she will soon be out surprising us all with her many talents and accomplishments. Rachel you be good and stay safe and let Uncle Bob know what you are up to Maam.
The lovely and talented Taylor Smithwick has secured an internship with the Love's Country Store Home Offices and I am certain that she too will be kicking ass and taking names in the future as she nears her matriculation date. Keep up the good work Maam and I look forward to some Lady Drovers Soccer this fall.
Guess what… I am waaaay cooler than those two dorks on Channel 4…and SO ARE YOU... I mean let’s face it, who’s not? I am not going to be reviewing any new movies for you fine folks but rather some old ones that I happened to watch this weekend. Hope you like the reviews… If not you might watch those two on Channel 4.
King Kong – The original black & White from the 1930’s. I am going to jump right up on a stump and proclaim that this is TEN TIMES the movie that its putrid remake starring Jack Black offered us. For one thing it told the same story in less than nine hours. Also, I didn’t have to watch the big monkey go skating on a frozen pond with the little blonde girl and do a lot of other stupid things that just drug the show on and on without adding any real substance to the plot. So just to recap… 1930’s version GOOD… 2000’s version BAD. I like things simple and succinct and that takes care of the Kong review.
Next we move into the 1970’s with the baddest badass of all Disaster Film actors Charelton Heston. Chuck finally met a disaster he couldn’t tame in one of the first films of the emerging Disaster genre. There was nothing he could do to prevent “The Greatest Earthquake Ever Known” from pulling Marshall, Will and Holly into the Land of the Lost... yes I said the Laaaaaaaaaaaannd of the Loooooooooooossssssssstttttttt!
Okay, I know Chuck Heston was not in The Land of the Lost. But if he had been, can you imagine the magnitude of ass kicking that would have occurred? I guarantee you this: Chauka would NOT have looked at Holly the same way. In fact, the first time Chuck caught him making googly eyes at our beloved, pure and angelic Holly, that night’s entree would have been “Monkey Meat on a Stick.” Enoch the Sleestack WOULD have been paying tribute and kickback to the Chuckster or there would be some serious head cracking going on. T- Rex Grumpy would have been turning on a spit about the third day into the ordeal and Will would stop that bitching and whining and stop trying to play the confused adolescent trying to find himself. Chuck would tell him to man up and then kick him a few times. Essentially that’s the Heston version of an After School Special moment… end game on that one Will! Okay are we all strait on that???
Anyway…now that I have free wheeled a little, let me get back on track. Chuck Heston starred in the Irwin Shaw classic “Earthquake” which if you had been around in the 70’s you might remember had been shown in “Sense-a-round,” the precursor to surround sound. They even installed subwoofers in some of the newer theaters just to enhance the effect. I have to say this was a great movie that had it all. First it had Chuck Heston as an engineer barking out orders and handling the logistics of relief efforts after a big earthquake. The man knows how to conduct himself in a crisis… People might want to watch and learn from time to time. Also it had George Kennedy in there kicking ass as well. Even the extremely luscious Jenevieve Bujold (I know I didn’t spell it right but it is late and the internet is closed so I can’t look it up on IMDB) has a bit part in it as well as a young Victoria Principal in her Pre-Dallas days. Not sure why but Victoria is sporting an Afro in this flick. On a scale of 1-10 I give it a 53. Let’s move on…. I watched A LOT of films this weekend.
Yeppp… another film from the Disaster genre. This had two heavy hitters from the good old days of Hollywood. We had BOTH Paul Newman and Steve McQueen sharing the top billing. We even had OJ back when he was a good guy. He plays a security guard who saves a cat in this movie. I hate to say it but I am going to give this movie the slight edge over Earthquake. Towering Inferno was more linear than Earthquake and had more dynamics in it due to the fact that the sideline stories were far more interesting than those of Earthquake. It also made a little bit of social commentary about contractors who cut costs to bring projects in under budget. Towering Inferno also gave us an appearance by some of Hollywood’s Golden Age stars such as William Holden and Fred Astaire. So on a scale of 1-10, having given Earthquake a 53, I give Towering Inferno a 64 but that is NOT to imply that Chuck Heston was out done by McQueen or Newman. Moving on…
I watched the Blade Trilogy this weekend as well. I will sum it up for you
Blade (Original): Blade and Kris Kristofferson kick some vampire ass
Blade 2: Same movie except these vampires are impervious to silver and can only be killed with daylight or artifical UV spectrum light. Oh yeah and just like in Predator the new vampires have 4 jaws so their mouths can open multi-directionally.
Blade 3: Same movie except add Jessica Biel and Parker Posey as pretty ladies. In this iteration of the trilogy a new form of super vampire is present and he is a “day walker” just like Blade. So they had a blind lady synthesize a new strain of virus that would affect his blood and thus kill him. On a scale of 1-10 I am going to give the Blade Trilogy a collective score of 7.
So that was the movie recap, five films reviewed, five opinions levied. Let’s move on again
Some people apparently felt that my review of classic toys was not what it should be. They threw out several suggestions but there were only two which I deemed to hold any merit. My Coworker pointed out that I had not addressed the beginning of the video game onslaught by not featuring the two games that started it all, Electronic Football and Electronic Baseball.
I was fortunate enough to have BOTH Coleco’s Electronic Quarterback and Mattel’s Electronic Baseball. I played them both about the same and literally wore them out. They each lasted about 3 years and by the end of their tenure I had worn all of the buttons down to mere nubs and the sounds had diminished to mere shadows of their former selves. I loved these games and I would play them again if I could find them.
And last but not least what would a blog be without a mention of our favorite local TV personality Bobbie Miller????
Mrs. Miller took to the airwaves to explain the importance of seeking shelter when “Nature’s Fury,” as one of the local affiliates describes it, is wreaking havoc on us humans and Charelton Heston just isn’t around to save the day. Mrs. Miller had a story which showed her emerging from a culvert where just hours prior, several people cheated death and had ridden out the storm.
I didn’t have the sound up so I didn’t know the entire context. I almost thought it was a commercial for an ultra-sophisticated European Fragrance. So as I could not hear the dialogue, I made up my own:
“Even when hunting truffles, Mademoiselle must always smell spectacular. New from Yves Gilbert Cartier, Essence of Nature… Because one never knows when beauty will have to slay the beast.”
Well Ladies and Gentlemen… that wraps up the Big Ol’ Blog-a-rama for now. Check back soon because if this cold doesn’t kill me I will spew forth some more rhetoric at a later date.
*in case you weren't counting I referenced ass kicking in some form a total of 4 times.