2010 Be Gone!!!!

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Well 2010 is coming to an end and like many I am going to recap what I feel to be the most noteworthy events of the year. I guess I am getting kind of old because I really can’t remember anything interesting about the first portion of the year. I think the earliest thing I remember about 2010 was the hail storm that tore across NW OKC.

I was at work when the storm hit and I went to the door to look at the storm. I will echo the words of Dale Marshall, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” Not only had we not seen a storm of that size and intensity, but we had also never seen stupidity on such a scale as when an individual ran out about 20 feet into the storm and then retreated stating, “That hurt.” My truck sustained damage as did just about every vehicle in the parking lot that afternoon.

I guess that prior to the hail storm I had embraced my new hobby of gardening. I learned that I really liked to plant stuff and nurture it. I remember going to Lowe’s and TLC and Under the Sun about 15 to 20 times each, I spent way more money on planters and plants than I had ever imagined I would. But I am glad to say that I am looking forward to doing the same thing this coming spring.

2010 was also the year that I built a small utility deck to compliment the gazebo. It was a lot of work but I have to say that I really enjoyed building the deck and then I made one last trip to Lowe’s pm a rainy Fourth of July to buy my first gas grill. I remember being pleased to be able to say that I was now a consumer of propane and propane accessories, God bless Hank Hill. While the gazebo is far more impressive and functional than the deck I built, I still have to admit that I prefer to kick back on my utility deck on warm summer nights to unwind.

Buying the grill also taught me that I like to grill stuff. When I purchased the grill I thought I would probably only use it three or four times the entire season. I think I cooked probably eighty percent of my meals on that grill for the next two months. And yes I will be cooking some steaks tonight on NYE. Grilling also brought about what we called Deck Football. While we actually sat in the gazebo, on more than one occasion we drug the TV outside and watched football as we ate steaks and burgers and sent inane pictures to Bobbie Miller and begged her to give the news in Piratespeak. And in case you’re wondering she never caved in to our requests… but maybe someday! I think that some of my favorite days in 2010 were spent out there in the gazebo with Brad and Buddha and Detar and John the next door neighbor.

I am really looking forward to many future nights of grilling and hanging out this upcoming spring, summer and fall. And yes we will continue to solicit Piratespeak from Mrs. Miller and Ms. Chaney as we meet up each Saturday.

2010 also included a drive to Chicago with my Mom to see the Johann Strauss Orchestra and the unexpected pleasure of meeting my celebrity crush, Nicolle Steins, in Target just before the concert. The most important part of that trip was making sure that Mom enjoyed herself and I honestly believe that she did. She was able to see some of the sights of Chicago and had a great time on a cruise of the Chicago River.

I don’t watch a lot of movies but the best movie I saw in 2010 was probably Ghost Writer. I will also remember 2010 as the year I started reading a lot of magazines. Just when I thought I subscribed to enough magazines Buddha had a school fund raiser and I ended up subscribing to Newsweek and National Geographic Traveler as well. But I enjoy reading these mags and that is all that is important.

Having read so many magazines I only had time for one novel this year and I read Fall of Giants by Ken Follett. Thankfully Christmas resupplied me with several books that I will be reading shortly. In fact I’ve already started a couple of them.

New TV shows in 2010 brought two that I really like. I enjoy the new Hawaii Five-O but I think I may like Blue Bloods just a little bit more. Not a lot, but I will say that of the two programs I prefer it to Five-O. At the suggestion of some friends, I tried to watch Glee but just couldn’t make it through a complete episode.

And finally I guess I have to say that 2010 is going out on a somewhat negative vibe as the water tank busted and I am sick. I will spend NYE sitting at home and watching Football and thinking about what all I plan to do in 2011. So there you have it folks.
Here are some of the things I want to accomplish in 2011

I want to do more fishing and camping

I will spend more time outdoors planting and building flower beds etc

I want to save more money

I might go back to school again to get an MBA as I am really not satisfied with my current degree

I am definitely wanting to catch a couple more JSO shows in 2011

Everything else will just have to be played by ear


As far as predictions, I have only one

I predict that the US will continue to slide downhill and inch ever closer to losing our place on top because the public is more concerned with the Kardashians than they are the Congress. Young people will continue to see TMZ as a viable news outlet and still won’t understand why that is a bad thing.

A Cloudy Country Christmas

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I think that many good stories begin by declaring the year in which they are set in the opening line. And for some reason it even sounds better if you’re telling about something that happened in another century. So in that vein…

It was back in December of ‘83. I know many of you folks weren’t even on the planet yet, but I was. If you watch the news this week, in fact every week just before Christmas, you’ll see that the record lows for this time of year were all set back in 1983. It was cold and I will always remember that year as having provided me with one of the strangest Christmas stories.

My sister was newly married to her first husband and it was decided that “To Grandmother’s house we would go…” Well Grandma lived in extreme Southeastern Oklahoma. So take any preconceived notions that you might foster about this part of the state and amplify them by about ten because by the time I finish this story I will have confirmed and solidified some of the more accurate stereotypes concerning the region.

The Southeastern part of the state is rich in timber, mostly Pine trees. I believe them to be Loblolly Pine but I can’t confirm this. There used to be a lot of logging activity in the region and that was great because the public could go in and claim any remaining tree that was downed and load it up for firewood. The area is also rich with what we called pine knots. I’m not certain what the actual name of this wood is but to make a long story short, these decaying pines make excellent fire starters. They are even cut and processed under the popular name “Fat Wood.”

We were running low on this super kindling and it was decided that since we were headed down there for Christmas we would go ahead and take the truck so that we could go up into the hills and collect some pine knots. There were five of us making the trip, my sister and her husband, myself and my parents. I rode along with the ‘rents in the Dodge Ram. This was in the old days before they had club cabs so we rode three abreast. My sister and her husband rode in her Pontiac. The temp that day we headed out was in the single digits and if I remember right it was Christmas Eve.

The old man decided that it would increase the warmth from the heater if he put some cardboard in front of the radiator. I have no idea if this served its purpose, but if I knew my old man he had been dreaming about an opportunity to justify something like that for years. And finally his day came. So with the cardboard acutely zip tied inside the grill we made our way out just around sunset.

The drive down was pretty uneventful and we arrived in the metropolis of Rattan, Oklahoma sometime around 10:00 PM. Now I know you all may not believe this but there’s not a lot to do in Rattan on Christmas Eve. This was all pre-satellite days and there wasn’t exactly any cable provider itching to serve the 300 or so people that called Rattan home. Watching the TV was kind of like throwing rock salt into a blender and watching the undulating flashes of black and gray with momentary flashes of what might be called a picture. So we sat and talked for a while with the grandparents and then it was decided that it was time to hit the hay.

I think this is a good point in the tale to point out that the only heat the grandparents had was a fireplace in the living room. That’s right, no central heat, no space heaters, no fireplace in each room, just one fireplace in the living room. At this point I understood why my Grandma was a quilt making machine who over the years had turned out what had to be at least a hundred quilts. When it is 4 degrees and there is no heat, quilts are your friend. I will add that the bed I shared with my Dad was equipped with an electric blanket so the chances of frostbite were minimally thwarted.

I remember me and the old man laughing so hard because we could see our breath in the bedroom that we had been assigned. I think I put on about three pairs of sweats and probably as many sweatshirts. Between the layered dressing, the 5-7 quilts and he electric blanket I was finally able to settle off into a deep slumber. I’m not sure how long I slept but I remember waking up and feeling as though I was on fire because at some point the old man had reached over and turned the electric blanket up to the Beelzebub setting and I was burning up. Well I would turn the blanket down, he would turn it up. This went on for a couple of hours until I finally just folded it over on top of him altogether.

Finally we awoke to Christmas morning and a temperature of about 2 degrees. I’m often prone to exaggeration but in this instance I speak the truth. Up we sprang to open presents and eat some breakfast. Now I also need to point out that while everyone thinks their Grandma is the best cook, mine had to rank somewhere in the top 7. I’m not saying she could make everything perfect but when it came to biscuits and gravy she was definitely at the top of the heap. This was some seriously good gravy. Two bites of this and you would lay in the floor with your eyes rolled back in your head, quivering and speaking in tongues. Nirvana via J.C. Potter sausage and homemade gravy! I’m telling you gravy of this quality is probably a thing of the past.

So after the above described breakfast and exchanging of gifts, it was decided that myself, the Bro-in-law and my old man would head up into the hills and gather the highly coveted pine knots. Now as any good story teller is want to do, I need to point out that all of this is happening around 8:00 AM. The Grandparents lived on farm time so you were usually snapped from your slumber by the clanging of cast iron skillets and pans about 5:30.

We got in the truck and headed out into “The mountains” as they are called down there. No one will mistake them for the Andes but you can see a good bit of relief when you look at the ridges. From the center of Rattan it is about 17 miles to the town of Cloudy. To say that Cloudy is small and remote is being generous on both accounts. The town of Cloudy consisted of one building (pictured above) which served as the grocery store, gas station, banquet hall, performing arts center, library and post office. The structure is now closed but in ‘83 it was functioning. Even on Christmas.

For some reason which I am unable to remember, the old man decided we needed to stop in and patronize The Merchant of Cloudy. We opened the door and walked in to what I can only describe as a blast furnace. In the center of the room was a wood burning stove that was about the color of a new fire engine and was putting out enough heat to fuel the fires of Hell up to this very day.

Sitting about four feet from this stove was a guy about my size. Let me further describe him. He was about my size, with no shirt. He was dripping sweat and guzzling from a bottle of Jack Daniels at the crisp hour of about 9:15 in the morning. He looked back over his shoulder at us and said, “Cold out there isn’t it.” At this point I realized that there was another man behind the counter who was going through some paperwork. The old man asked if they had any coffee and sure enough they did. Dad bought some coffee and I think I got some chocolate milk or something. I don’t remember what the bro in law at the time had. Doesn’t really matter what he had.

Having acquired sustenance for the task at hand, we headed out on one of the logging roads and then stopped to search for pine knot. We found some but it was in a pile of other woods and we needed to get the chainsaw and cut it out. Despite it being less than 5 degrees, the sun was shining and there was no wind. As long as you stayed active it really didn’t seem that cold.

After a few minutes of chain sawing and toting wood back to the truck we realized we weren’t alone. There was a guy driving a white Toyota pickup parked behind us and he was standing there with a holster on his hip like he was John Wayne or something. He asked us what we were doing and we told him we were gathering wood. He came up and looked at what we had been cutting and saw that it was indeed wood and he then became more amiable.

According to him there had been several incidents of onsite cattle butchering using chainsaws. He claimed that he had lost two head the previous week. Once he saw what we were doing and what we were after, the pine knot, he told us to follow him and he showed us where there was a pretty good sized stump of this type right near the road so that we wouldn’t have to carry it from the forest’s interior but could actually park right next to the stump and load it with ease. I think he even helped us load some but after this many years I can’t recall for certain (another line frequently interjected by master story tellers).

We loaded up the truck, drove back into Rattan and then I have to admit that the events of the rest of the trip slip my memory. I’m certain that I got many gifts that year as the parents were always quite generous but I will cede that the only one I remember was a cassette by Quiet Riot. It was their Mental Health album.

I think that was also the last Christmas I spent in Rattan. A few years later my Grandmother died and the gramps usually came up here to OKC for Christmas from then on. I guess that I remember parts of that Christmas because they were so different from the ordinary. It’s not only that they were different but they were also surreal and vivid. I can remember the store, the drunk fat guy, the John Wayne wannabe and collecting the wood as though it were yesterday but other things like the gifts and the conversations completely elude my memory. I’m not saying that it was the best Christmas, or the worst Christmas but it was certainly the strangest one.

As I look back while writing this it occurred to me that of the three individuals who ‘struck off into the mountains’ that morning, as my grandfather used to say, I am the only one still living. The ex brother in law was ejected from the family a year later or so and then he died back in the 90’s of a brain tumor and then of course my old man died in 2008. Like I said, it’s not the funniest or most interesting story but I guess since I am the only living participant I am somewhat obliged to pass it on to you all, my loyal readers.

Thank all of you for reading this and I wish each of you a Merry Christmas. If your Christmas isn’t quite so eventful as to have drunken hillbillies, pistol packing vigilantes or arctic temperatures, I’m sure you can find some aspect of it that will serve as a future memory. Enjoy!

Kick That Little Ball in The...

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It doesn’t matter if you’re Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, Muslim or a member of any of the other various religions known to man, you better get your heart right with whatever deity it is that you worship because I am about to state something that is probably a sign of the pending apocalypse. I never thought I would say this but here goes. I have noticed that there is way too much college football on TV. Yes I said that. Yes I am in utter amazement that I said that but yes, I did. We are in the first couple of days of Bowl Season and I have to say that I am really disappointed.

Yesterday we had the pleasure, insert sarcasm, of three bowls. We had the New Mexico Bowl which was about as interesting a class 3A high school game in which the power house of UTEP took a beat down from BYU. It was really hard to remain interested in this game so I didn’t. Sadly this game set the stage for the other two bowls airing that day. It seems that horrible teams which should never be in bowls to begin with are lining up to play in the more obscure bowls. Northern Illinois and Fresno State rumbled in the Humanitarian Bowl while Troy thumped Ohio in the New Orleans Bowl.

But don’t be dismayed because here in a couple of days we have Southern Miss battling Louisville in the “Beef O’Brady” Bowl. I have no idea what the hell Beef O’Brady is, was or will be but I can assure you that I won’t be shedding any tears because I have to work. As we move closer to Christmas we are presented with the gridiron gift of Navy vs San Diego State in the “San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.” I know I feel like a winner already just hearing about the match up. So San Diego State is bowl bound. If that doesn’t make you shriek Hallelujah I don’t know what will.

Christmas Eve brings us the long awaited duel between Hawaii and Tulsa, yes Tulsa is playing in a bowl game and so is Hawaii. If that doesn’t make the Baby Jesus giggle with glee I don’t know what would. I think the crowd will be sleeping like a baby during this game.

Many people experience a post holiday let down the day after Christmas. Well I can assure you that’s not possible this year because guess what? Yes that’s right, the matchup we’ve all been waiting for takes place on December 26, Florida International takes on the perennial powerhouse Toledo in the Little Caesar’s Bowl. I can feel the goose bumps already.

Now that I’ve bitched and moaned I will take a few minutes to address what I know all of you are wanting to say. I’m betting that many of you are thinking that more bowls means more revenue for more teams and in the long run leads to more parity in the NCAA. And you are all correct. However, that doesn’t mean that we should all be forced to watch horrible games simply because they are the only games on TV.

What if we increased revenue by either extending the season two or three weeks or go to a playoff system in which the proceeds from the TV revenue is distributed equally among the top 50 teams in the nation. This would allow revenue to trickle down to schools that might normally be outside the loop and thus create more parity, that is of course is funding actually leads to parity. There are many people, and I am one of them, who believe that parity is increased by television coverage because teams who might have remained unknown gain exposure and attention from recruits that otherwise might not have given them a second look.

So you’re probably asking yourself, “If he thinks exposure is good for parity which is therefore good for the game overall why is he bitching about these teams being seen in bowls?” Well I will tell you. The reason I feel this way is because bowls used to be reserved for the top teams playing in the best venues and providing the most competitive games. I have no problem at all with Troy or Florida International playing on TV, I just ask that it be done during the regular season thus allowing bowl season to be restricted to fewer bowls with better games. Bowl season used to mean something, now it just means “a few more games.”

If things keep going as they are, in the future we will probably see something like the "One Eyed Larry’s 17th Street Taco Stand Prairie Bowl" live from Taft Stadium featuring Southwestern OK State taking on long time nemesis Panhandle State. Get your tickets now folks it might be a sellout!!!

Censorship Anyone???

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As most of you know I enjoy classical music. I like almost all classical music but those of you who are close to me know that I really enjoy one orchestra in particular. And before you reach for the big red X this posting is not about classical music. I enjoy the Johann Strauss Orchestra a great deal. I occasionally like to read some of the fan forums and see what other fans think of the orchestra.

The orchestra is headed by an individual named Andre Rieu. This guy is a great musician and he really coaxes every note from the performers in a way that few can. The guy’s only downside is that he has a bit of an ego. Well to make a long story short, the orchestra’s website was recently revamped and the newest iteration has this guy’s face plastered all over it. Even the icons have his face on them.

Now there are over 50 performers in the orchestra yet, the only face we see on the main page is that of Andre Rieu, the orchestra’s leader. Now here is where things get interesting. I posted on one of the fan forums that I personally thought that the most pervasive theme on the site was ego.

Apparently this is one of those forums where those who pose any sort of opinion which is not in line with all of the others are vilified. I certainly don’t mind listening to those who have opinions which don’t correspond with my own. Well these folks don’t hold the same tenets.

What was funny is that all of those who decided to post views contrary to mine were able to do so. However, when I posted something in rebuttal my postings were deleted. So I then put up another post advising the moderator that I had “Forgotten that censoring ideas simply because you didn’t agree with them was what made America great,” He actually let that post remain on the forum so he could respond and proclaim that his actions were “Not about censorship”

Now I’m not a Rhodes Scholar, but I think that by definition removing a post from a forum would certainly fall under the concept of censorship as most of us view it.

Anyway I just wanted to share that with you all. Enjoy. And remember you can post any reply you like and I will not delete it.

By the way, if you see this Sue please know that the above listed remarks are not applicable to you. You were always a great moderator and I have only the highest regards for you. Thanks Maam!