It's Christmas People... Throw Me A Bone And Read My Blog

Last year’s Christmas post entitled A Cloudy Country Christmas  was about a rather surreal Christmas back in 1983 that was packed with chainsaws, single digit temperatures, early morning drunks, chocolate milk and a gun toting John Wayne wannabe. This year’s Yuletide entry is pretty tame in comparison. It took me a while to decide exactly which Christmas memories I would incorporate into this year’s post. There are so many great Christmas memories out there but the truth is I can’t really remember which memories occurred in which year so I decided that I’m going to write about Christmas music instead.


So once I decided to write about Christmas music I had to decide which aspect of the genre I would discuss. I basically broke it down into two subgenres, traditional and the more modern nontraditional songs and flipped a coin. It looks like fate wanted me to bust out a blog about the newer less traditional music. When I started to write I quickly realized that I had to determine what exactly constituted modern and what constituted nontraditional. I decided that for the purposes of this article modern would be anything after 1970. At this point many of you are asking, “What the heck is he thinking?” 1970 isn’t modern! But when you think about how long Christmas has been around and then you stop and realize that a lot of the traditional Christmas music we listen to is somewhat older than 1970 hopefully you will see my reasoning.

One of my all time Christmas favorites is what I consider to be a newer nontraditional Christmas Classic. I can never consider it to be the holiday season until I hear “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses. This song has some catchy lyrics. Admit it, you’ve caught yourself saying, “You forgot cranberries too?” This little Christmas ballad about two star crossed lovers who suffer from a year plagued with missed opportunities and bad timing who finally get to hookup on Christmas will always be a great one in my opinion. The recurring brass solos and catchy chorus make this a must have on any Christmas mix for those under 50.

And since we are talking about music composed after 1970 we get to include the song I talked about in the last post "Because We Need a Little Christmas…" Mr. Heat Miser, written for the 1974 Rankin Bass classic, “The Year Without a Santa Clause.” This is a great song even without the antics I described in the earlier post. There’s no doubt that this song can stand on its own. I've included a link that will show the song in its original context.

Each year I when I make my Christmas CD I always have Billy Squire’s “Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You” included. I consider this to be non negotiable. I really like the music on this one and the tune is one that sticks with you for a while. The guitar solos are short but I really like them and I guess have to say that they’re one of the better aspects of the song. I guess the fact that it’s a feel good song doesn’t hurt its odds of becoming a long term Christmas classic.

I was originally going to cut the list to three songs but as you know I sometimes like to ramble on and on. I racked my brain to think of a fourth modern Christmas song that I liked really well and then it came to me. The other night I got off work and decided that I’d hit Whiskey Chicks on the way home. It was Wednesday so that meant local songwriters night. Each Wednesday they feature local songwriters from the Academy of Contemporary Music at UCO which is literally located right around the corner from the WC. Anyway to make a long story short, Wednesday nights are usually somewhat of a crap shoot. Sometimes you hear some decent stuff and sometimes you just can’t get out of there quickly enough. But last Wednesday was really the exception to the rule.

When I arrived there was a young lady on stage with no band or accompaniment other than herself on the keyboard. It didn’t take long to realize that this girl was far better than most of the acts I’ve seen perform there in the past. I don’t know how long her set lasted as she was already performing when I arrived but I was fortunate enough to hear her sing probably four or five songs. Luckily for you O’ valued reader, one of them was a Christmas song and I was able to find it on Youtube. The singer is Maggie McClure and in this video she is joined by Shane Henry. Shane wasn’t present that night so she went solo on this one and really did a great job. I even had the opportunity to tell her that of all the songs she sang that night I liked the Christmas one the best.

As most of you know I’m the proverbial crotchety old man who doesn’t like anything new. But, I actually liked listening to Maggie and I even lucked out by being the quickest Tweeter in the building and won one of her CD’s. So I decided that I would add this modern Christmas song to the list. While the theme of romance during the holidays is not original the song certainly is. So for most of you this will be a song you’ve never heard. Give it a shot by clicking the link. I think you’ll like it.

So there we have this year's iteratation of the Christmas Blog. Click the comments button and tell me what you think.

Because We Need A Little Christmas, Right This Very Minute...

Each holiday season we find reminders of Christmases past. I’m not referring to any characters in a Dickens story but rather to the memories that rattle around our heads this time of year. Good or bad we all have them. Some are poignant, some are bittersweet, some are simply pleasant and then there are those that are just plain hilarious. One of the funniest stories I can recall happened about this time of year. Luckily for you all I am in a mood to tell you all about it.


It was about a week before Christmas and I was working a night shift. My lunch hour fell around 7:00 PM so I thought I’d take the opportunity to get some shopping done. I had to stop into a Bath & Bodyworks to get some lotions and whatnot. When I walked in the door I was blown away by the crowd. I expected the place to be busy but I didn’t expect a scene from Woodstock. I thought to myself that perhaps the reason for the cast of thousands was because they were having a big sale. Wrong! It was just extremely crowded.

I guess they were expecting the weather to be far colder than it actually was because they had the heat cranked up to the Satanic setting. With the heater on steroids and enough people to start our own small country the place was really warm. But as sweltering as it was none of us had any idea that things were about to get significantly warmer. I elbowed some people aside and shanked a couple of televangelists to get to the prepackaged gift assortments that have become the time honored gift selection of the clueless male when it comes to cosmetics and skin care products. We don’t understand them, we just know that they make women about as happy as cordless drills make us. I very carefully chose the first five I could get my hands on.

I saw a break in one of the shorter checkout lines and found myself only eleven patrons away from the hallowed squares of tile just in front of the register. The wait was on. About five minutes into the wait things began to get immensely more interesting. Two registers to my left there was a forty something lady arguing with the clerk about whether the ten percent off tag pertained to the existing price or if the discount had already been factored into the price. That’s nothing out of the ordinary, especially this time of year. But what made this situation more interesting is that as Mom was arguing with the cashier her daughter was putting on a show of her own.

Given the stifiling heat it almost seemed too coincidental that the song on the store’s speaker system was “Mr. Heatmiser” by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. As circumstance would have it, it just so happened that this girl who I would guess to be 17 or 18 was standing next to one of those posts that acts as a conduit for the power and phone lines to the register island. In other words, the girl was standing next to a pole. Now in describing this young lady I’m not going to lie to you folks. This girl was about as pretty as they come. She had been gifted. Seeing this one proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that we humans were indeed created by a Supreme Being and furthermore, He had definitely been on His A game the day He crafted this one. I think you get the point.

Now if you’ve never heard Mr. Heatmiser, the song has a really rhythmic bass line. I’m not really sure that the young lady was conscious of what she was doing, or that she was in public. I like to think that she was. All of a sudden this girl started dancing. Now by dancing I don’t mean a subtle swaying or shifting her weight back and forth from one foot to the other. This girl was busting some moves. This girl was busing some early Madonna moves. It didn’t take long for me to see one guy nudge his buddy and point her out. Well it seems that we weren’t the only ones to see her. Pretty much everyone in the store stopped and stared at this girl as she continued to gyrate, dance, grind and writhe around the post whilst her Mom continued her all important quest to save an additional eleven cents off of some bath powder. Well at some point I guess ol’ girl sauntered into Mom’s field of vision because Mom stopped arguing and started wincing.

When the lady first saw her I think her initial reaction was that of disbelief. The disbelief quickly, VERY quickly, turned to that awkward emotion between shock and embarrassment when the nervous system just kind of ginks a little because it doesn’t know what else to do. She paused for a moment, perhaps to see exactly what the girl was doing, and then she reached out and grabbed the girl by the elbow, spinning her around, thus ending the girl’s in-store presentation of Hoochie Mama Dancing's Greatest Hits.

I take great solace in saying that I wasn’t the only one to laugh as the mom drug her out of the store gibbering at her in that semi-intelligible, “I can’t believe you acted that way in front of all those people, blah blah blah,” tone that only a pissed off mom can summon. I mean if everyone laughed then it must have been the right thing to do. Wasn’t it? In the end the girl had her fun, the mom got to experience the obligatory “What the hell is wrong with you?” moment of parenting and I got my various gift baskets to hand out to those whom I care about. All in all, I think it’s one of my favorite holiday moments. And from that day forward I guess I have to say that Mr. Heatmiser has been one of my favorite holiday songs.

Oh yeah… Hey Amber, remember the look of disbelief on my face when I realized that I’d been had because the stuff in the basket didn’t really take up the whole basket but instead was only a couple of inches deep thanks to a big piece of Styrofoam that took up most of the basket? Haha!

Click the video link to hear the song!

Use the comments box to tell me about one of your more irreverent Christmas memories.

This Person Has A Lot Of Good Ideas About Welfare Reform

A friend of mine posted somethign on Facebook that I found to be extremely interesting.  This was supposedly wrtitten by a 21 year old Texan but I didn't see anything to verify the age.

I left the original text in the normal blue text that I use. I put my comments in yellow




This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX Nov 18, 2010


Put me in charge . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Ok, I agree with everything in the paragraph above. Food stamps are meant to be used by folks who can’t afford to feed their families. They would be far better served by purchasing raw ingredients in bulk rather than eating processed foods that have an inflated cost due to the preparation.


A 50 pound bag of beans would provide much more sustenance and protein than a steak. The last time I looked at NY Strips they were going for $10.99 a pound at my local grocer. So for the price of one meal, two steaks for $22, they could buy enough rice, beans, and potatoes to provide at least 4 or 5 meals. THAT is why I support restrictions as to what individuals can purchase with food stamps.



Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

I agree with everything that was mentioned in the health care related paragraph as well. I had to read it twice before I fully understood the part about tattoos, They’re not saying refuse treatment to anyone with tats. What they are saying is make a note of all existing tats and when they show up with an additional one turn off the tap. Essentially it says if they can afford to get more tats and piercings then they can afford to pay for their own health care.



Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or X box 360, then get a job and your own place.

I concur with the portion of this article about government housing. If you are going to live in subsidized housing you should be held accountable as far as keeping up the property is concerned. It’s okay to be poor but it’s not ok to be a hoarder, vandal or king of the roaches.


In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a government job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the common good.

I have a little bit of a problem with this paragraph. I don’t want to see any private sector jobs replaced by using welfare recipients to maintain housing or to maintain roads. Other than that I am good with the part about requiring those receiving assistance to sell off luxury items such as aftermarket rims and stereos. If you can’t afford rent, you can’t afford a $1200 set of rims and a factory stereo should suffice. I know I still have the factory stereo and rims on my vehicle.



And the writer ended the post with the following paragraph:



Before you write that I've violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be demeaning and ruin their self esteem consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.